So, do you feel that we men, in general, have a hard time finding the humor in our masculinity and sexual selves? That unless we have an uber-masculine energy, or portray a hyper masculine nude or partially clad man, that it has to be within certain boundaries for us to receive it as hot, as manly, as correct?
What happens to our ability to laugh at ourselves, even when we are looking at our sexual selves and being a man? I’ve found it very interesting that when I’ve veered away from the traditional idea of masculine imagery, when I play with different characters that don’t necessarily look like they could change a tire, whether it’s because of what I’m wearing or how much body hair I have, that there’s difficulty receiving it. Like a particular image or look would define me, or negate the masculine part of me.
Why is it that we attach such specific things to a man’s masculinity or virility? Like that couldn’t include something softer, more colorful, more whimsical, more playful, and yes, even humorous. Do we take ourselves too seriously? Are we as gay men still falling prey to the straight man’s idea of what being a man is all about?
Well, here’s my opinion. Being a man isn’t about how muscular you are, or being impervious to pain or being hurt, or walking like you can’t put your hands down by your side. A real man recognizes that in order to be strong, you have to be vulnerable and feel. That in order to feel confident, you have to admit, accept, and embrace your flaws. That you don’t have to judge someone else just because they make you feel uncomfortable by expressing their masculinity differently than the way you do. Being a real man should enable you to explore all aspects of yourself and not be concerned with what people may think, or the conclusions they may draw about you based on appearances. A real man doesn’t let people’s negative miss-perceptions of them change their ability to live their lives for themselves!
Being a man is more then just having muscles and body hair; it’s about embracing who you are and how you want to express yourself. So man up! You’ll be glad you did.