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It’s rainy here in New York, so what better way to spend the day then by re-checking our five hotties and picking a winner. Peruse, pick, peruse some more, then tell us who you want. The winner shows off more of his goods on Monday. Yes, it’s raining men!
Eurovision is here tonight, and if you’ve never heard of it, missed it, are missing it, or just can’t be bothered, we’ve saved you the trouble. Here’s our analysis of this year’s contenders. Open the video in a new window and see if you think our one liners and sometimes savage quips are fair or not as you go through. We didn’t do them all, just the ‘best.’ And worst.
Armenia: James Blunt meets U2 meets C&A, with ‘Who can stop it?’
Azerbaijan: Once you get over the shock of the eyebrows, he reminds me a bit of Enrique Iglesias fallen on hard times. Next stop? The Job Centre.
Belarus: I’m guessing her backing track has got stuck and she’s ad-libbing. It has the feel of a futuristic (failed) production of the Lion King.
Belgium: “Love kills over and over,” is the main lyric. Catchier than previous Belgian entries, but a bit disturbing as the girls both look like they’ve been taken hostage.
Bulgaria: Horrific tune, but very impressive how she manages to change outfits so quickly. Maybe the magician with the magic bagpipe helps.
Cyprus: A rather nice song about trying to find your lost iPhone after a picnic.
Denmark: Good combination of a natural beauty with a natural voice and hot drummer boys in uniform. Let’s just hope Helen Mirren isn’t sitting near-by.
Estonia: Cheryl Cole’s poor relation in a nighty, sings about her dismay that Girl’s Aloud have split up.
Finland: WOW. Krista Siegfrids, you rock! ‘Marry Me’ is the name of the song, and I sure would, you sexy blonde Katy Perry/Pixie Lott of the East. Pop bliss.
France: Not bad at all, nice beat, great vocal range. But she looks like she’s mixed up her medication, bless her.
FYRM: I’m sorry but I have no words for this. If that woman ever escapes, then God help us all.
Germany: If last year’s winner hadn’t been ‘Euphoria,’ this reasonable offering from the rather good Cascada would have probably had a good chance. But ‘Glorious’ sounds too similar, but without the punchy angst, darkness and catchy “Up, Up, Up” chorus. Sorry babes.
Greece: ‘Alcohol is free.’ Is it really? To be honest this collection of hot hairy handsome Greeks can sing about whatever they like. If they’re extremely drunk on this free alcohol, then all the better for my chances. Strangely catchy.
Iceland: A song of hope. Even if you’ve cut your finger, everything will be all right in the end.
Ireland: Nice one Ryan Dolan! ‘Only Love Survives’ is catchy, dancey and vibrant, with a strong vocal. And thank God it’s not Jedward again.
Israel: Her hand gestures are clear. ”Shut up backing singers! This is MY moment, I’ll be back to work in the library on Monday.”
Italy: Great hair and great piano skills. But he could have put some sheets on the bed.
Lithuania: The Lithuanian entry was sick, so this drunk man from the audience jumped on stage to fill the gap. You’d think.
Malta: If One Direction and The Muppets had a family, this would be it. Up-beat, happy, guitary song, that probably won’t do as well as it should.
Moldova: Cinderella and the dancing scarecrow. A popular Moldovan children’s tale, and now a pop song. How lovely.
Montenegro: Music video inspired by a night out in Swansea.
Norway: Margaret Berger’s ‘I Feed You My Love,’ stands out as a winner. She’s got the looks, the stage presence and an awesome vocal with a dark yet sexy electro/techno/rock backing. 12 points from me!
Romania: I’m not sure what went wrong here, but it’s scarier than the woman from FYRM. Are they dancers or just trying to escape from the alien’s sonic range? Who can tell.
Russia: A likeable song from a likeable young lady, but likeable doesn’t usually score big. Sorry babes.
San Marino: What a time to have a power cut! Bad luck babes.
Serbia: An interesting entry, if only because it looks like they hate each other and might violently lash out at any moment. Fingers crossed.
Slovenia: Nicely done Hannah. A pleasant, dancey number that will no doubt be played in gay clubs from Warsaw to Tbilisi for years to come, regardless of how well she does tonight.
Spain: A strong rocky number from Spain, with a lovely horse. But has Carol Vorderman changed her name and had work done?
Sweden: ‘Because of You’ (Or, Because of You-oo-oo-oh-ah-ah). Catchy, strong and annoying at the same time. Sung by a friendly-faced, chunkier relation of Justin Bieber.
Switzerland: Totty-watch! And I don’t mean the old man who morphs into a young girl. Oh it’s all happening in Switzerland!
The Netherlands: Beautiful, natural, haunting vocal from Anouk, with ‘Birds.’ Perhaps the strongest entry from the Dutch in living memory.
United Kingdom: Bonnie Tyler. I love her to bits, I really do, but she hasn’t got the range. She’s big in Europe though, they say. So was Engleburt Humpydink. Sorry Bonnie lurv, I’m not gonna lie, but I don’t believe in your song ‘Believe in Me.’ Cracking hair though babes.
After months of waiting, Eurovision night is finally here! Depending on what part of the world you’re in, you may be cheering and screaming joyfully like a party boy who’s just won a VIP band for Matinee’s Barcelona Circuit Festival, hiding your head in shame like Lindsay Lohan at a Court Hearing, or looking blankly with no idea what I’m talking about. If you’ve never heard of Eurovision, a quick search on google will tell you that “the Eurovision Song Contest is an annual competition held among active member countries of the European Broadcasting Union.” I’ll translate that for you.
The Eurovision Song Contest is the annual competition between most European (and nearby) countries, from Azerbaijan and Israel to Lithuania and Portugal, with each country sending its ‘best’ (or most-willing in the case of the UK), talent to sing, dance and generally try to woo the rest of Europe with a cascade of fake tan, HUGE hair, awkward dance moves, demented dance routines, glitter, sequins, fur and HUGE hair. Did I mention the HUGE hair and sequins?
A sparkly entry from Lithuania a few years back
In the words of London legend Glendora; “It’s camp gurl.” Camper than any traditional ‘as camp as’ analogies, camper than a stage production of Hi-di-Hi with Julian Clary and Dame Edna in a glitter factory. With a fluffy pink wind machine.
Some of the worst moments from Eurovision. Ever.
The vocal talent ranges in, well, talent, from rather awesome and “why haven’t we heard this girl before?” to, “Why have they sent us this guy? Please make it stop now before I put my head in a food mixer just to drown out the noise.”
The thing is, the ‘worst’ entries are often the most fun to watch. What’s all the rage in terms of style/fashion/music in Moldova, isn’t usually bang on trend for the UK. And probably vice-versa. Eurovision is a chance for everyone to laugh at everyone else. Or maybe I’m just being a cynical Brit. We last won in 1997 with Katrina and the Waves, “Love Shine a Light,” and since then we’ve been last or almost last six times. That’s a lot of countries doing better than us. Usually including Moldova.
Katrina and the Waves in 1997, the UK’s last winner.
The UK’s Jemini (deservedly) came last in 2003.
They said they had sound problems. So did the people listening.
Oh dear God there’s so much left to cover. The voting! There are now so many entries, there are two semi-finals to weed out the weakest entries, via an international telephone vote (but you can’t vote for your own country, duh). “The Big Five” (UK, Spain, France, Germany, Italy) automatically get a place in the final because they pay for most of the contest. And otherwise they probably wouldn’t get through. The voting is almost better than the show itself. Countries always vote for their neighbours (for example, Greece: “for our friends, Cyprus, 12 points”), and nobody votes for the UK. Some of the people who are reading the votes from far-flung ex-Soviet capital cities have never been on TV before, and for good reason. Here’s another chance to see some HUGE hair and sequins, and person after person repeating “thank you for an amazing, amazing show.” Prepare to be amazed.
A rather excited lady reveals the scores from the Swedish jury.
All in all, if there’s one thing that everyone agrees on, it’s probably sequins. Eurovision is on a range of TV channels tonight, with commentary starting around 8pm GMT. My money is on Norway’s awesome Margaret Berger, with ‘I Feed You My Love.’
Director J.J.Abrams returns with Star Trek Into Darkness, the much anticipated sequel to 2009′s Star Trek. This time, Captain Kirk (Chris Pine), Spock (Zachary Quinto), and the rest of the crew of the Starship Enterprise are on a mission to track down a renegade from within their ranks in order to avoid an intergalactic war. Does this new Star Trek adventure deserve your dollars, or is it a huge black hole of a time-waster? Read on!
The Good: Now this is how 3D movies are supposed to be made! This film is stunning in IMAX 3D, with excellent cinematography and high-flying action scenes that don’t disappoint. The cast is strong, with most of them reprising their roles, as well as a few new additions, including Benedict Cumberbatch (BBC’s Sherlock) as nemesis John Harrison, and Robocop star Peter Weller as Marcus. The plot has a narrative that beautifully unfurls like a swirling galaxy yet takes plenty of suspenseful twists and turns. And just for the fans, the screenplay also draws some clever parallels to the original, second Star Trek movie - Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.
The Gay: Quinto and Pine. Hotness. Along with their sizzling good looks, the bromance between Kirk and Spock is truly touching. (I admit that one pivotal scene near the end made me shed a tear. Oh how I dream to see a love scene between these two. Sigh.) And whoa, does Spock become all bad-ass! And by bad-ass, I mean hot piece of ass! Delicious.
Cumberbatch breathes a fiery sexiness into the dark and smoldering Harrison. Into Darkness? More like Into Tall, Dark, and Handsomeness! That epic fight scene between Cumberbatch and Quinto smoldered with such testosterone-laden fury that I needed a cold shower afterwards.
Zoe Saldana as Uhura was looking fierce! She worked those outfits like no one else could. Rihanna better take some style lessons from this girl! Werk!
The Bad: Not too much to report here. Perhaps some die-hard Trekkies would beg to differ, since Abrams really launches the franchise into a whole other dimension with this sequel. But overall, the film just works. Get used to it.
The Fugly: Um, Abrams, what is up with your fetish for lens flares?! Not only do you get them in this flick in abundance, but they’re in 3D! They were cool for the first five minutes of the film, but after that I just wanted to swipe them out of my field of view. Trés annoying.
Boldly go see it, or does Darkness fall? Go forth and prosper by purchasing tickets while you still can, preferably for the IMAX 3D screenings. This flick is stellar!
MOSCOW — A throng of thousands led by priests in black robes surged through police cordons in downtown Tbilisi, Georgia, on Friday and attacked a group of about 50 gay rights demonstrators.
A police officer helped an injured man. Gay rights marchers said priests from the Georgian Orthodox Church led the charge past police cordons.
Carrying banners reading “No to mental genocide” and “No to gays,” the masses of mostly young men began by hurling rocks and eggs at the gay rights demonstrators.
The police pushed most of the demonstrators onto yellow minibuses to evacuate them from the scene, but, the attackers swarmed the buses, trying to break the windows with metal gratings, trash cans, rocks and even fists.
At least 12 people were reported hospitalized, including three police officers and eight or nine of the gay rights marchers.
“They wanted to kill all of us,” said Irakli Vacharadze, the head of Identoba, the Tbilisi-based gay rights advocacy group that organized the rally.
Nino Bolkvadze, 35, a lawyer for the group who was among the marchers, said that if they had not been close to the buses when the violence began, “we would all have been corpses.”
Prime Minister Bidzina Ivanishvili of Georgia condemned the violence in a news release Friday evening, as the police urged the mobs to leave the city’s central avenue.
The attack comes amid an increase in antigay talk in Russia and Georgia, whose Orthodox churches are gaining political influence.
In a statement Wednesday, the leader of the Georgian Orthodox Church, Patriarch Ilia II, compared homosexuals to drug addicts and called the rally a “violation of the rights of the majority” of Georgians.
Conservative-minded Georgians traveled from other cities to condemn the gay rights demonstrators, and one told a television station that she had come to “treat their illness.”
“We are trying to protect our orthodoxy, not to let anyone to wipe their feet on our faith,” said Manana Okhanashvili, in a head scarf and long skirt. “We must not allow them to have a gay demonstration here.”
In a telephone interview, Mr. Vacharadze of Identoba said that priests from the Georgian Orthodox Church had led the charge that broke through a heavy police corridor.
“The priests entered, the priests broke the fences and the police didn’t stop them, because the priests are above the law in Georgia,” he said.
Ms. Bolkvadze, the lawyer with Identoba, speaking by telephone from a safe house in the city, said that despite promises from the police that there would be “unprecedented” protection for the rally, the riot police were unprepared.
“They didn’t have helmets,” she said. “They didn’t have the right equipment.”
Olesya Vartanyan contributed reporting from Tbilisi, Georgia.