Parenting

  • Boyz 2 Menu

    Feb. 12, 2012, 7:39 a.m.

    We went to a Superbowl party on, rather predictably, the day of the Superbowl, hosted by the parents of one of Mikey’s best friends in preschool. Naturally, we were the only same-sex couple there. When I came in, I asked, “So, who do we hope is going to win?”

    The room full of people in Giants jerseys rolled their eyes collectively.

    I asked the host whether he watched football with his son, Mikey’s friend, and he said that Brian didn’t have much interest. “But he will.”

    I’m sure he will. Most boys figure out pretty young that the best way to bond with their fathers is to emulate their enthusiasm for their favorite sports. Mikey and Brian played together for the entirety of the party, until the crowd in the den cheered or groaned, and then they would both run in and join us with, “Yay!” or “Oh, rats!”

    Needless to say, my level of involvement was about the same, going along with the crowd. Ian, who is not only gay but British, was right behind us.

    The part where we all were able to connect as a group was over the Madonna halftime show and food.
     

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  • Family Guyd: Let’s Talk About Sex

    Dec. 29, 2011, 10:53 p.m.

    According to Freud, the developmental stage we’ve entered into with Mikey is the phallic stage. Now, some people call bullshit on Freud, which is fair for the old quack, but it’s interesting reading what a boy goes through at this stage according to old Sigmund, ending with the tot being Oedipussy-whipped.

    First off, the child in the phallic stage becomes aware of his penis. Mikey’s advanced in this degree. We use a lot of moisturizer on him for his dry skin, and because he’s three, he wants to do everything himself … and as a result, under his care, his penis gets a good deal more lotion than it really needs. Can’t blame him, but I hope he saves a few hobbies for his teenage years. Read Now


  • Family Guyd: Father Figures

    Dec. 10, 2011, 1:43 p.m.

    Everyone is talking about gay parenting nowadays as if it’s a daring experiment of the modern age. It’s as if no one has read their history books well enough to know that famous gays from Socrates to Leonard Bernstein, from Alexander the Great to Oscar Wilde, dozens of kings and emperors and actors, and millions of not so famous gay men all had kids. Some of them were good dads, some not. 

    Provided the closet door was double-locked, gay men, dads or not, were often seen as good role models. J. Edgar Hoover was revered for being “married to the FBI,” not to his assistant director, Clyde. Every blue-hair in America loved how witty Noel Coward was and how Liberace never let any woman come between him and his mom, and every teeny-bopper swooned for Rock Hudson, Tab Hunter, Montgomery Clift, and Sal Mineo, who all seemed like perfect gentlemen.  

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