Our Sex Guyd David Pevsner answers your queer questions with a touch of anal.
Queer: I’ve never douched, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to go about it. Yes, I’ve bought condoms, but the thought of walking into a drug store and asking for a douche terrifies me. Is it really necessary or can I just make sure I eat right and shower thoroughly? I just met a guy, he’s a top, and he kind of hinted that I should start. I didn’t want to ask him about it, cause I thought he would think I was, oh, un-clean or something. And even though I’ve never had any problems down there, I want to be a great bottom.
Anal: Don’t be a douche….douche. Picture it, he’s inside, you’re both feeling it, loving the moment…and then that familiar smell begins to permeate the room. Sorry, Bud. It’s done. Get over the embarrassment of buying an enema. Get to know what part of the store they sell them in. look for a sign that says “laxatives”; that sometimes works. And if you happen to run into your ex and he sees that Fleet enema (or store brand…cheaper and perfectly fine), feel pride in knowing that at least you’re gettin’ some.
Queer: What’s the best way to get fucked? I want all the experiences.
Anal: There is no best way. There’s only what feels best for you. It depends on a lot of things…size and shape of his cock, how experienced you are, your tolerance for the pain/pleasure factor, whatever. Have all the experiences. Do it every which way you can with each and every man who’s lucky enough to get inside you. You’ll know what works best for you. And when you find the guy(s) that fit(s) every which way, take it all, bitch. And have a literal ball.
Queer: I often use old T-shirts for cum towels, and the stains don’t come out. I’m not taking them to the cleaners. I’d die of embarrassment. Do you know if any material is easier for getting out cum, or should I just hand bleach everything?
Anal: I have to say, that’s a new one for me. I keep a pile of inexpensive washcloths (2 bucks each at Kmart) in the night table drawer and throw the used ones in the laundry with the rest of my stuff. I’ve not had an issue with stains, but if you do, get white cloths, wash ‘em in hot with your tighty-whities, and you shouldn’t have an issue. Hand bleach? Sorry, I know I’m the Anal Guyd, but that’s even too anal for me. Relax, guy: Stick with white and don’t get glum about the cum.
If you have a sex question for David, email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.