The bible made big news this week, in sickness and in health. The sick part went to Pastor Dennis Terry, who introduced Talibangelist hopeful Rick Santorum in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, by telling the cheering crowd that the United States worships one god, whose name is Jesus Christ. It was a charming little sermon, telling naysayer and liberals and anyone else to politely go to hell—literally. Here’s the video and summary.
(Don’t worry; we’ll get to her in a bit!)
Santorum was later seen at a Louisiana firing range (chubby whacko religious fanatics with guns really turn me on!) practicing his shooting skills when an adorable woman in the crowd shouted “Pretend it’s Obama” as he took aim. Watch it here. I’ll get back to you when I find that bit in the bible about killing the President.
Speaking of that son of a gun-loving crowd, Jimmy Carter talked a bit about that pesky Good Book Sequel and noted that God Junior never said a word about homosexuality. Hmm, I’m sure all those sweet Christians who want us stoned to death will now change their minds. Read about it here.
Quote of the Week
“Your penis was a revelation. I’m available to work with it anytime. I have to say that I was truly impressed that you chose to play it big. Most other actors would have gone small, trust me. No, I know because I have worked with them.” –Charlize Theron, On Michael Fassbender’s penis.
Come out, come out, wherever you are!
The Skinny on Models
My favorite story of the week is about the Israel ban on skinny models. Thank whoever’s running this joint that someone’s starting to take a stand against criminal behavior. And when are male magazines going to catch up and stop showing those men with 12-packs? We gays have eating disorders too.
Cruising for a Bruising?
The most bizarre story of the week goes to the men on the gay cruise who were arrested for “buggury”—yes, that’s a word, folks—off the shore of Dominica. Here’s an interview with the two men. Thanks, Randy!
Blisters for Sisters!
I do think it’s a hoot, or a heel, that these butch college dudes walked a mile in women’s shoes to protest violence against women. I just hope the drag queens don’t get word of it; those guys will be running for their lives in those pumps. Watch it here.
As the world awaits Madonna’s MDNA (or the three or four people who haven’t somehow snatched it up already), Russia’s not too thrilled about her Madgesty’s appearance in the cold country, as they’ve just enacted an anti-gay “propaganda bill,” which basically says gays should go to hell—and they wonder why some of us queers don’t care for that bible. The author of the bill has threatened to prosecute Madonna if she performs.
(See, I told you we’d get to her!)
Gay rights groups have mixed feelings about her plan to go through with her concert, and it’s a hot button issue. Personally, I think she’ll get more attention paid to the medieval views of Russian politics if she performs. Regardless, Madonna, as usual, gets the last word.
Finally, Starbucks gets some major support for the coffee chains support of same-sex marriage rights in Washington. Love or hate their coffee, we’re gonna drink up the love and name them this week’s Guyding Light.