New York — Jackie Beat’s been entertaining fans for more than two decades with her ballsy, big, and buxom treasures. Now, the lady needs two hips replaced and, alas, has no health insurance—contrary to GOP thinking, Emergency Rooms do not count!
Enter promoter Chip Duckett, a New York benefit, and a list of friend/performers that reads like a who’s who of down-town abbey. Joan Rivers, Debbie Harry, Parker Posey, and Fred Schneider are just a few of the entertainers on-board, and I asked Jackie if she could answer a few questions about her long road to the replacement app.
DT: How did you mess up your hip?
JB: Over twenty years of running around in high heels, plus being a big fatty probably didn’t help. And, according to the doctors, I also have a genetic problem in that area. Thanks for smoking and drinking while pregnant with me, Mom!
DT: Why don’t you have insurance to cover it?
JB: Because I live in the United States. [Obamacare] doesn’t kick in until January 2014 and, even after that, it’s going to be tons of red tape from what I understand. I can barely walk, so now is the time.
DT: Do you ever have irrational fears, like they’ll give you Liza Minnelli’s old hip?
JB: I hope so! I adore Liza! She came to my Christmas show in L.A .once. Let me tell you, a drag queen walking out and seeing Liza sitting in the audience is like a priest seeing Jesus sitting in a pew!
DT: What are the celebrities doing? Is it a surprise?
JB: Yes, it’s a big surprise… Even to me! When you ask Joan Rivers to be a part of your benefit you don’t really ask her, “What are you going to do?”
DT: Do you think you might be able to avoid the new hip altogether if Joan Rivers just gave you some extra facial parts?
JB: I would gladly accept any scraps from the legendary Joan! Facial parts, brain cells, comedy chops… You name it!
DT: Do you think you’ll be able to raise enough money?
JB: Well, I am working with the Actors Fund here in L.A. to get Pre-Existing Condition Insurance, so the cash price for my surgery may actually go down a little. But I’m going to have to take at least two months off and I will need physical therapy. I am also having a benefit in L.A. and raising funds online for people who cannot attend either fundraiser. The link is: http://www.giveforward.com/jackiebeathiphiphooray. Sorry, but I have learned to be shameless. It’s hard to ask for help, but life is too short not to do what you have to do!
DT: Finally, what advice do you have for anyone who needs a hip replacement and doesn’t have insurance? What advice do you have in general for anyone in the United States who is uninsured?
JB: All joking aside, just don’t be afraid to ask for help. I have been so blown away by all the love coming my way. I know it’s not good for my bitchy reputation to say this, but I am truly blessed and so grateful. I am surrounded by angels! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
HIP HIP HOORAY: A BONE-A-FIT FOR JACKIE BEAT is on Sunday, March 3, at the Cutting Room, 44 East 32 Street. Tickets are $30 (with VIP options available), and may be purchased online at www.SpinCycleNYC.com or at 212-352-3101.