CMA Awards: Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA Awards

Guest Guyd
Authored by
Guest Guyd
Have a story to submit? Email connor@guyspy.com
November 9, 2014
6:00 a.m.

Story Courtesy Of Kate Dries

On Wednesday evening, the best and brightest of country music joined together at the Country Music Awards, one of approximately 20 awards for country music that have been televised in America this year. Let’s see what they wore!

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Kelly Pickler did a sort of updated ’20s look, complete with carefully placed sheer cutouts.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

In other ’20s inspired looks: Christina Aguilera did the world no favors when she decided to contrast her bleach blonde short curls with a spray tan and Meghan Linsey of Steel Magnolia is doing us no favors by repeating it. Maddie & Tae look very cute. Miranda Lambert‘s dress is a little long but otherwise she looks happy next to that lug of a husband of hers.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Here we have dresses that would have fit in at any other award show: Lucy HaleKimberly Perry of The Band Perry and Jennifer Nettles, who has POCKETS and wants you to know it.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

It’s always so funny to see Nicole Kidman at these events and its doubly fun to see what she’s put on to try to be a little down home. This time, she wore my grandmother’s best tablecloth, the one she only takes out for Easter. Tricia Yearwood should consider wearing this dress to the terribly sad event that will be Dolly Parton’s funeral (and that’s a compliment). Faith Hilldidn’t need that bow but she did need a smile or two.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Here we have dresses that are starting to scream CMAs: Jana Kramer brought out her best prom dress, Meghan Trainer brought out her best winter formal dress, Carrie Underwoodbrought out her best wedding after-party dress and Susan Yeagley said “Fuck it, I’m going to Vegas.”

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Ashley Monroe‘s whole look is very 1969-meets-1995, while Rachel Holder just…I don’t know. Formal ice skater is what we will call this look, I suppose.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

And now for a section I will dub “BIG HAIR DON’T CARE” starring Natalie Stovall andKacey Musgraves.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

More from That’s So Totally CMAs: Casadee PopeHillary Scott of Lady Antebellum andJason Aldean with Brittany Kerr.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

I do love Gretchen Wilson for how few fucks she gives. Martina McBride looks like a particularly nice couch, while Lily and Ruby Aldridge seem to have gotten lost on their way from LA to Nashville. They sure look fancy though!

And now for the cast of actual Nashville.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Clare Bowen just loves to wear dresses with this cut and I honestly cannot figure out why. She looks like a bar wench who got her hands on a glue gun and a bag of rhinestones. Aubrey Peeples rocked her best formal croptop – congrats Aubrey! Lennon and Maisy are fucking flawless and they will not let you forget it (sorry for cursing in front of the kids).

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

It’s probably unfair to put Chaley Rose next to Connie Britton, but you know what, life’s not fair, especially if you’re wearing that dress, Chaley. Kimberly Williams Paisley will never not make me smile and think of the fantastic made-for-TV movie Lucky 7, even in this get-up.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Sam Palladio looks mighty uncomfortable. Aren’t Chip Esten and his wife Patty Hansoncute? Will Chase is super sharp, while Jonathan Jackson got lost on his way back fromTuck Everlasting.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Group shots! Billy Currington and “a guest” color-coordinated, as did the crew from Little Big Town.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Here are some men being dumb: Dustin Lynch is wearing some sort of straw hat, Eric Gunderson and Stephen Barker Liles of Love + Theft brought the guns out and Brantley Gilbert put every single one of his rings on and left the house. Luke Bryan looks happy though.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

I love how Nicole is here for Keith Urban but all the photos on Getty are of her. The worst character on Nashville shows his softer side or something. Oh hi Steven Tyler!

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Tim Tebow wore his house glasses outside; Cole Swindell wore his house hat outside;Darius Rucker wore his house pants outside; Tim McGraw is not here for any of it.

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

Thomas Rhett‘s face and body aren’t necessary but here are his very cool shoes

Big Hair and Glittery Everything at the 2014 CMA AwardsEXPAND

HI/BYE Y’ALL.

Similar Stories:

Gay Hollywood Halloween: The Hottest Costumes Ever!

Gay Halloween: A Gay Guide To Creating A Sexy Costume!

Prohibition: All The Hottest Lyst Party Pics!

Atlanta Pride: All The Hotties In Costume Pics!

Bowieball 2014: Vampire Dandies and Alien Princesses Take the Stage!

Comments



No comments yet