You know what’s really rad about Miley’s new song, “Wrecking Ball”? It’s that her life is now crumbling around her, so it’s almost like she wrote her own sad song to console her sad life.
Okay, I guess sad isn’t really defined as knowing you’re going to have the number one song in the country soon, but let me break down the mean things people are doing/saying to Miley right now:
According to US weekly, Elton John was quoted in an interview as saying, “I look at Miley Cyrus and I see a meltdown waiting to happen.” A meltdown, you say? What do you mean, Elton? She’s not a nuclear reactor! She has feelings; like any sexed-up pop-tart would! And not to mention when E! News broke the story that her engagement with Liam Hemsworth was off, who didn’t cry a little? Not because they were madly in love, but the hurt feelings of Cyrus knowing Hemsworth didn’t deem her as an acceptable beard anymore. Now he’s out faux-kissing a girl named Eiza Gonzalez. Now that just sounds made up, no?
But it’s okay, Miley. Just work it out, bitch. Bangerz, her new album, comes out October 4th, and if you still feel sorry for Miley, check out the tracklist for this record. You’re welcome.