Miley Cyrus Rides The Ball And Chain

Aristotle Eliopoulos
Authored by
Aristotle Eliopoulos
Pop Culture Guyd!
September 9, 2013
3:48 p.m.

Screen Shot 2013-09-09 at 3.55.07 PM

You know those strange sex-addiction shows with people who are totally turned on by normal everyday things? Things like… oven mitts? Okay, maybe not oven mitts. Let me speed this up: Miley Cyrus’s new video for her second single, “Wrecking Ball,” makes it seem like her panties drop just a quarter of a centimeter when she gets a Home Depot catalogue.

For example, licking sledge hammers… not a normal sex thing. Thrashing like your panties are wetter than Evian in the rubble of a demolished cement house… not a normal sex thing. Dropping down to nothing but your birthday suit to ride a giant wrecking ball… well, actually, that may be kind of fun. Watch the video, below, as well as Miley’s pale, sun-deprived side boob. For your entertainment, of course. And no, she never does act out her Home Depot fantasies. Maybe next video…

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