With every generation comes a new attempt at bringing the Superman saga to life on the big screen. This time the comic book icon returns in the form of Henry Cavill (The Tudors, Immortals) in Man of Steel. Does this rejig deserve a chance to rescue you from the depths of boredom, or does this flick flop big-time like a cheap polyester cape? Read on!
The Good: This version, directed by Zack Snyder (300) and featuring a screenplay by David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan (Dark Knight Trilogy), is a dark reimagining of the comic book mythology, showing the downfall of the planet Krypton and how Superman came to be. The story focuses on Superman’s human experience of how he grew up being an outcast for most of his life, an interesting angle for this reboot. The star-studded cast assembled doesn’t disappoint, either. And those epic battle scenes are literally earth-shatteringly spectacular.
The Gay: Cavill. Oh. My. Goodness. Is this man the most perfect thing on the face of the Earth? Those eyes. That smile. That coiff. That chiseled, hairy chest. Those arms. And that newly designed Superman spandex suit just accentuates his exquisite physique in all the right places. This movie should seriously be retitled “Buns of Steel”! Heck, within the first few moments you see Cavill shirtless, soaking wet, sporting some serious scruff with a full on beard, and literally flaming (as in covered with fire)!
And this movie also sports a lot of hot daddy realness. Christopher Meloni and Lawrence Fishburn make appearances, and Russell Crowe and Kevin Costner as Clark Kent’s fathers Jor-El and Jonathan Kent, respectively.
And was it me, or did General’s Zod’s crew get imprisoned in some phallic looking pods before getting sent off to the Phantom Zone? Hmm.
The Bad: The pacing seemed a tad slow, and this flick is very dark – sometimes too dark for an enjoyable night out at the movies. It could’ve been funnier too. Dark and depressing was the theme here. The handheld camerawork is sometimes too shaky to the point that it’s sickening, especially watching it in IMAX 3D. Speaking of 3D, it was rather meh. And some of General Zod’s dialogue (Michael Shannon, Boardwalk Empire) was clunky and awkward. I guess this is the hard thing about origin movies; they have to take a lot of time to set up the franchise in order for things to go anywhere that in the process things get lost. But OH MY GOD, HENRY CAVILL! So sexy!
The Fugly: All the product placement in this film is a tad overdone. But I’m not gonna lie; part of me did delight in seeing an IHOP get trashed. Ugly lens flares affect this flick as well, but not as bad as some other summer blockbusters we’ve seen this year (I’m looking at you, Star Trek Into Darkness!). And what was up with those metallic pinboard-esque viewfinder things that followed around Jor-El? Didn’t digital screens exist on Krypton? But that Cavill… oh my goodness! So hot.
Man of Steel, or flimsy aluminum foil? This film is definitely going to divide those faithful to the Superman franchise. It’s a very dark, very human take on the story, and not everyone is going to fall in love with it. I was captured by it, and I thought it was ambitious. We’ll see how the franchise pans out. But OH MY GOODNESS HENRY CAVILL IS SO SEXY! Just drop your cash down on the counter and delight in his smouldering sexiness! Seriously.
The Grade: B+ for the film A+ for Henry Cavill’s hotness