One Direction And The ‘Worst’ Song Ever, By Connor Sobolik

Connor Sobolik
Authored by
Connor Sobolik

July 26, 2013
5:22 p.m.

harry styles.pngI have built a reputation surrounding my inability to sit idly by and watch One Direction pollute the media and dilute what could be loosely defined as “music.” When a band is selling more lunch boxes and children’s bedroom posters than they are albums you begin to question their credibility. When a groups’s image is worth more than the rest of the brand and haircuts get front page articles they should be prepared for a few hits.

One Direction’s new video, comically named “The Best Song Ever,” shows a completely unconnected SNL skit that portrays each of these “artists” in everything from drag to dorky glasses. They put on over the top personas and they play the antagonists against the “sexy” versions of themselves. This was rather comical, especially watching Harry Styles try and hook up with a transsexual, until the music started. The critic in me was raised from the crypts at the first sign of enough auto-tune to render the music unrecognizable. I have mentioned before how they have been pillaged by modern advances in audio editing, and you can read it here.

The only redeeming quality of the track, its video, probably the upcoming album, and basically the boys all together, is their brilliant makeup artists. They have managed to do the impossible and Benjamin Button the shit out of Niall while making the pretty one look even better as a woman. Whoever holds the brush has been the accomplice from the moment they first stepped on stage. With airbrushing, powder brushing, a bit of gloss, and a shit load of hairspray the boys with very little music abilities have been named some of the sexiest boys in Hollywood. Who votes for these things?

However, if you like boys smashing office supplies, trashing equipment, and pretending to be talented, this video is for you.

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