Post Pride Balance

David Parker
Authored by
David Parker

July 2, 2013
5:26 a.m.

Welcome to post PRIDE recovery under the flag. When the many fantastic parades, parties and gatherings have passed, it’s time to put PRIDE into your life with balance, inner spirit and meditative observations. Sometimes it’s difficult to find the time to audit regular patterns, thoughts and behaviours, but these wise words of Anne Wilson Schaef are a starting point in any detox of doing ‘too much.’

Time to consider slowing down.

” There’s just too much – too much to learn, too see, too much information, technology and techniques, too many ways to pleasure, too many ways to pain. TOO MUCH! How can we be expected to take it all in and deal with it? Perhaps we don’t need to take it all in OR deal with it. What a relief to know that we can go deeper and deeper into whatever we wish, and through that exploration come to understand the everything. Since all of creation is a whole and the oneness of all creation is a reality, our world is indeed a holo-movement or hologram. In exploring the depths of one thing, we gain wisdom about others. Our task then, is to see what calls to us, what piques our imagination, what stimulates our being and asks us to delve deeper and deeper into it. When we follow this calling we will find balance.”

838032f589b0baac501416bab1b00dc3_previewThese words remind me that my current intuition has value, that when I was using chems and alcohol regularly to escape and over-party, I thought that spontaneous thinking and ‘acting out’ was intuition. It wasn’t, I was simply addicted to imbalance. Basically I couldn’t trust myself and conned myself that I could. But you don’t have to use substance escape routes to find imbalance, work or sport training can equally tip the scales. In my last blog I said “Having said all that, PRIDE and vacation time is a chance to party more than usual, so don’t take the coming weekends as a benchmark.” So now get back to a routine, to find that inner spirit, natural intuition that separates the wisdom from the wailing. Even in a good relationship, finding yourself again creates balance, instead of being taken hostage, kidnapped until you set yourself free of control, co-dependency and fear of abandonment. Two free inter-dependant people, loving each other, lessening codependency and recognising that they aren’t the most important people on the planet is a beginning in unfurling the freedom flag into their lives. Freedom comes from ‘inside,’ trusting intuition, standing back and making informed choices rather than letting the ego run amok. Like during PRIDE time, it’s easy to think we are missing something if we don’t join in. We don’t have to do everything or understand everything all of the time. What a relief.

12840957931FnH9uBombarded with new technology, new party drugs and fast dating options, it takes courage to step out of it all once in a while, to temporarily dispense with the demands of the modern age. This is why we crave a day by the sea, a walk in the woods or wear sloppy clothes for a week or two. No performance required. Cutting down party drugs for a while works in regaining balance and forethought, so your thoughts and emotions are not habitually chemically induced. Cutting down on sexting or texting can cut trivia from your day. Cutting down on defects of character like the 4 ‘P’s’: People pleasing, Perfectionism, Projection and Procrastination can create a turnaround in an instant.

Take stock of your emotions over the past few weeks. Take stock of what’s occurred, including PRIDE Weekend. Write down what made you feel PROUD, then write what could be improved, what needs addressing and what needs urgent attention. The outcome of these observations will take the flag off the pole and put freedom back into your life.

Then consider making it a healthy habit. As they say ‘It works if YOU work it!’

More of my blogs including Skype Coaching can be found here:

http://mygaytherapist.me

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